23 IN ME

My birthday is my favorite day of the year. Correction its my favorite MONTH of the year. Yes, I am that person who celebrates all month long. My family thinks I’m crazy but hey you're not getting any younger (literally) so you might as well celebrate as much as you can. This October has been filled with trips to North Georgia, Goat yoga, Gun range afternoons, football watch parties, engagement photo shoots, lunches with my best friend and of course family dinners with my favorite Chicken and Dumplings and Key Lime Pie!!

Looking back on the past 23 years I realized I’ve grown and learned a lot. Even though I might still have some childlike tendencies every now and again, I have definitely matured throughout the years. I’m truly grateful for everything I’ve learned. I wish I could say that I everything I know now came to me easy and that I always listened to those who were older and wiser, but unfortunately that is not the case. I’m a very hardheaded gal and it took a lot of patience, grace, and tons of failing to get me where I am today.  I still have so much to learn, and I know I have many obstacles ahead of me that I will need more grace and patience to overcome. However, I’m glad I can say at 23 I’m pretty proud of where I am today.

Just for fun, I have put together a list of 23 things I’ve learned over the years.

1.       It’s perfectly acceptable to eat pie for breakfast (especially if its key lime). If anyone disagrees, remove them from your life. You don’t need that kind of negativity.

2.        DON’T ever compromise your values for anyone. Your value system is the core of who you are and if you ever must hide or change your values to be around people then you are hanging around the wrong crew.

3.       NEVER apologize for being you!  As cliche as it sounds, this was the hardest thing for me to learn. People are not always going to gel with you and that’s okay, but if you must turn into a chameleon for people to “like you” then you’re not only doing yourself a disservice, but you’re doing the world a disservice. God created you in His image, so why in heavens name would you try and be anything other than that. 

4.       Read your bible and spend time in Gods presence every day. Someone posted a meme on Facebook the other day and it said “Girl, read your bible! You can eat all the kale, buy all the things, lift all the weights, take all the trips, but if you don’t rest your soul in Jesus you never find peace and purpose.”  That quote hit me like a ton of bricks. How true is it though? We are nothing without Him. Find a time in your day that you can make an appointment with Him that you never break and spend time meditating on His word and resting in His presence. 

5.       It’s perfectly okay to CHOOSE YOU. You have conquered a whole lot of ups and downs, success and failures, mistakes and lessons. You’ve sacrificed your time and energy so that others would feel important and cared for, but now it is time for you to choose yourself! Make yourself a priority. it’s not selfish, it’s necessary. It’s time for you to love, respect, admire, forgive, and accept YOU for YOU! You can’t pour from an empty cup. You must take care of yourself. Learning to make yourself a priority and not feel guilty about it, is one of the most important things you can learn. so CHOOSE YOU!

6.       Words are very POWERFUL.  If your words are not edifying or will build one another up, don’t speak! The bible says we have the power of life and death in our tongues, that’s why we must be slow to speak and quick to listen. Words hold so much power. You can be forgiven for the things you say but once they come out of your mouth you can’t take them back! You might feel justified, but once you speak negative and hateful words, you automatically lose.  No one is perfect and grace is a beautiful thing. but let’s lift people up with your words instead of bringing them down.

7.       When you are sad, go find a puppy to play with. You can thank me later.

8.       Before you engage in a battle, or whatever problems you may be facing, spend time in Prayer first. Go to your prayer closet and seek the Lord. When we commit to prayer and spend time with the ultimate problem solver, we won’t fail! The Lord has a solution to every problem, and He will help you through any circumstance you just have to ask for help.

9.       Family is a blessing from God. Don’t ever take it for granted. They can make you fire engine red mad one second but turn right around and make you laugh so hard you cry. There was a time when I’d choose hanging with “friends”, going to a party, or pretty much anything that would get me out of the house, over spending any quality time with my family. One day, I woke up and all my “friends” were gone, and the parties were over, and the only people left on the sidelines cheering me on was my FAMILY. In that moment it made me realize God has placed me in this family for a reason. God has a purpose in everything He does and “running” from His plans only leave you sad and lonely. God gave us family to be our built-in support systems. Don’t run away from that!

10.   Take accountability for your actions. If I've said it once I’ll say it again, we are not perfect. We will fail. We will mess up, drop the ball, and let people and ourselves down. But the good news is we are not defined by our faults, but how we respond. Apologize, take up for your faults, and try and do better

11.   Don’t take everything so seriously. When we are so worried about the what if’s, we miss out on so much good!! Life is too short to be a boring “grown up” who worries about every little thing. It’s okay to let loose every now and again and be goofy and carefree. So go ahead and dance, sing off key, and laugh at dad jokes. Don’t let the worries and the need to be serious rob you from the joys of this beautiful thing we call life.

12.   There is something so calming about driving in the woods with the windows down. Don’t believe me? I dare you to go for a little test drive and tell me what you think.

13.   Having an accountability partners doesn’t mean you’re a weak person!! For the longest time I thought having someone you go to and keep you accountable and give you counseling meant you had all these issues and you were weak/crazy. However, having someone to be there to talk to and keep you on track is a true definition of being STRONG. We aren’t meant to do life alone. That’s why God gave Adam a partner named Eve. We need people in our life to encourage us and keep us on the right path.

14.   God called us to ACTION. To ACTIVELY love one another, to ACTIVELY treat people with respect, and to ACTIVELY show grace and mercy. Let’s be kind and stop judging.  If Jesus the King of Kings can hang out with sinners and call them friends and NOT be hateful or judgmental, then why don’t we follow in His footsteps!!! Be kind and love one another.

15.   Another “cliche nugget” I’ve learned is that life is too short to do something you’re not passion about. God has given us each a certain talent and passion and if we run away from that because its not convenient or because we are just scared then we will live a boring miserable life. Take time to figure out what you are good at and follow that passion!

16.   Have people in your life who will have your back, instead of talking behind it. I am the type of person who considers EVERYONE my friend. But unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Not everyone is going to like you or want you to succeed, and that's okay! Acknowledge that and look for the ones who want to see all your dreams come true. Who will be there supporting you and will fight for you no matter what! 

17.   TREAT YO SELF! Seriously! Growing up my daddy always told us to “Invest in ourselves, and we can do anything” If you have a good self-image you will have the confidence to take you ANYWHERE!!

18.   Attitude is everything. Another Lamar Rudd life lesson growing up was “Good attitude gets you everything. Bad attitude will get you nothing.” That statement holds so much truth. Be kind & grateful and see where it takes you.

19.   Dancing is a GREAT stress relief! Don’t believe me? Crank up the tunes and have yourself a little dance party and watch your cares disappear.  

20.   People can change! I’m living proof of that statement. Don’t snub someone based on who they used to be.  If they are actively taking steps to change for the better then its out job to accept them, cheer them on, and love them every step of the way!

21.   Its okay to be upset and angry. Its how we respond to that anger and hurt is what matters. The bible says in Ephesians 4 “Be angry and do not sin” Life happens, and anger is a God-given emotion. Feel the pain and give it right back to God and let Him FIGHT for you.  

22.   FORGIVE ALWAYS! Unforgiveness will eat you up inside until you’re just full of hatred and bitterness. Forgiving those who in our brain don’t deserve it not only sets us free, but also is Christlike. The way I look at it is If Jesus died on the cross for MY sins and MY shortcomings, forgiving someone who did me wrong is a NO DUH thing. It won’t always be the easiest thing and it doesn’t happen overnight. But if we take time to actively forgive the “unforgivable” then peace and freedom will take place.

23.   Be thankful for the past. I used to cringe at the thought of my past. “AH I dated that person? I said that comment out loud? Why did I take that job?” are questions that would randomly smack me in the face and give me so much anxiety, and instantly make me feel like I failed. However about two years ago (yes, I’m slow) I realized the past is the past for a reason. The detours I took here and there and the choices I made were only stepping stones to get me where I am today. If it wasn’t for those experiences who knows where I would be today!